Oh Heavenly Father

When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:

Heavenly Father, we come before you to ask your forgiveness. We seek your direction and your guidance. We know your word says, "Woe to those who call evil good." But that's what we've done.
We have focussed on minutiae and intolerance and ridiculed the absolute truth of your word of love in the name of "family values". We have oppressed the homosexuals and called it "love the sinner, hate the sin".
We have fanned the flames of intolerance by waving gay marriage as a threat to an insecure middle America in order to expand our own personal power and greed.
We've exploited the poor and called it church fund-raising. We have rewarded corporate greed and called it trickle down. In the name of freedom, we have killed countless Iraqis. In the name of right to life, we have killed abortionists.


I never finished editing the rest.
I got fixated on the fact that a alleged religious figure wrote the original and he is as fucked up as those crazy Muslim dudes who all seem to live in England and New Jersey, and well, it didn't seem so funny anymore. This is the rest of his spiel. That state of Kansas, where my California tax dollars flow downstream to.


We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem. We have abused power and called it political savvy. We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it taxes. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us, oh, God, and know our hearts today. Try us. Show us any wickedness within us. Cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent here by the people of the State of Kansas, and that they have been ordained by you to govern this great state.
Grant them your wisdom to rule. May their decisions direct us to the center of your will. And, as we continue our prayer and as we come in out of the fog, give us clear minds to accomplish our goals as we begin this Legislature. For we pray in Jesus' name, Amen.

my crackhead Republican friends

So, Timmy, who is a conservative fellow, although not usually so insane that I want to bludgeon him, noted tonight that in San Francisco, people are so liberal, that you can't have a reasonable or rational discussion of whether Gays should have the right to marry.

I pointed out to Timmy that, well, no, you can't have a reasonable discussion about it because it would be like having a reasonable discussion about whether or not is was right for someone to enslave another.

At which point he noted that being denied the right to marry was a far cry from being enslaved, and I agreed and agreed to discuss , in a very reasonable fashion, whether women ought to be given the right to vote.

I wish I could say that blows were exchanged, and that I was wounded and ended up slumped over and passed out in a doorway, found by a kindhearted woman with a killer body and an unmatched libido, and that we spent the night together discussing her right to vote.

I just blogged, though.

My crackhead pals at Budweiser

So, I do a lot of drinking. At home, in bars, at clubs, and all that. I drink beeer, and I think I have pretty hoity-toity tastes, although Red hook is a pretty decent beer even if Budweiser owns them, so I don't always stick with the relatively obscure Belgian beers.

So, I was drinking, and the coaster was a Budweiser ad.

It says:"Have you Taken the Budweiser test? " on one side and on the obverse:

"Drink a Budweiser for five days. On the sixth day, try another beer. You'll prefer Budweiser's flavor thereafter."

Pure genius. Of course, if you smoke reefer and sit on the couch watching Brady Bunch and Perry Mason reruns for five days, and on the sixth day, you have to get your ass of the couch to go to the Target and restock widgets, well, the reefer and the couch are going to be pretty darn preferable.